Expat spouse: the forgotten member of the expat family?

Luxembourg: A Land of Opportunities for Expats

Luxembourg is distinguished by a large foreign population, accounting for more than 47% of residents, not including those with dual citizenship. This proportion of foreigners is largely due to active immigration, particularly for professional reasons. In 2023, more than 26,000 foreigners moved to Luxembourg, drawn by a dynamic job market and the promise of attractive salaries.

These expatriates, who are young and on the rise in their careers, often arrive with their families, spouses, and children. But while the move is an adventure for the expatriate employee, what about the accompanying spouse?

The Profile of Expat Spouses in Luxembourg and Elsewhere

In most cases, the spouses of expatriates are still predominantly women. Aged between 35 and 45, holding a master’s degree or higher, and in the midst of their professional careers, unfortunately more than half of them put their careers on hold to follow their partners!

Once the family has settled in the country, a quarter of them actively seek employment. But it takes them an average of 10 months to find a job, which can seem like a long time given the average expat assignment lasts two and a half years.
Despite these obstacles, nearly 80% of them wish to settle permanently in Luxembourg once their spouse’s contract has ended.

So, what is the reality for these expat spouses? Unfortunately, it’s rather mixed…

The challenges facing expat spouses: family, relationships, and employment

Dealing with family challenges during an expatriation

Settling into a new country brings many responsibilities for the accompanying spouse. Often the one most involved in family logistics, the spouse is the one who must cope with the stress of the family’s relocation.

This includes helping the children adjust to a new school and managing their emotional well-being in an unfamiliar environment. Often more involved in educational matters, the expat spouse must help the children adapt to a new culture and reassure them that they’ll be able to make new friends!

The spouse must not only ensure a smooth transition for the whole family but also cope with being far from family and friends. The feeling of isolation is profound and grows gradually if nothing is done.

The couple strained by expatriation

Expatriation can be mutually enriching as the couple faces a new project and a shared experience. A new dynamic develops within the couple, strengthening their bond through shared challenges.

However, expatriation can also create an imbalance within the couple. The expatriate is fully committed to their new position, while their spouse often puts their career on hold. Isolated and focused on family responsibilities, they may feel a sense of isolation, or even frustration . They struggle to find their place within the couple, and more broadly , their place in the expatriation experience.

Careers Set Aside for Spouses of Expatriates

For more than 60% of female expats, living abroad is seen as a hindrance to their careers. One-third of them feel they had to give up their jobs to follow their spouses. This situation creates not only a sense of frustration, dissatisfaction, and deprivation, but also a loss of professional identity. It is sometimes even described as a feeling of personal devaluation.

Finding a job that matches their qualifications is a major challenge for expat spouses. Many end up considering a career change by returning to school. Some pursue other forms of professional engagement, such as volunteering with organizationsor even entrepreneurship, to showcase their expertise.

Expat spouses face numerous challenges and must constantly reevaluate their lives. Unfortunately, they do not always feel supported or encouraged.

Social isolation linked to expatriation

Social isolation is one of the main obstacles faced by expat spouses. Inevitable, at least initially, isolation can intensify over time. Indeed, without a local network, coupled with language barriers and a lack of understanding of local customs, it is difficult to build lasting relationships. The expat’s spouse may then become dependent on their partner, creating additional pressure on the couple.

Furthermore, the prospect of an upcoming departure does not facilitate deep or long-term cross-cultural friendships.

Expat communities offer support, but they are often fleeting, and sometimes even superficial. They can even hinder integration into the local culture and reinforce the feeling of not always belonging.

The Psychological and Social Impact of Expatriation

In summary, the challenges are immense for expat spouses in every aspect of their lives during the expatriation process. Managing the relocation of the entire family while dealing with the pressures that may arise regarding the children or spouse, quickly finding a fulfilling job, building a new social circle… all while taking care of one’s health and well-being.

The impact of expatriation on mental health and well-being is significant. Adapting to a new environment and integrating into a new culture is a real challenge for expat spouses. It is important that they do not feel alone in facing these challenges.

Coaching: A Solution for Overcoming the Challenges of Expatriation

In this context, coaching can be a powerful tool to help expat spouses cope with the challenges of living abroad and regain their balance.

Whether you’re looking for a new career path or seeking to enhance your personal well-being, coaching can provide you with tailored support.

Rethinking your career while living abroad

A coach can help you identify your strengths and explore new career opportunities aligned with your aspirations and values. This may include a career transition or launching an entrepreneurial venture tailored to your skills and local opportunities. The goal is to restore meaning to your professional journey.

Regaining self-confidence while living abroad

Living abroad can lead to a loss of self-confidence, especially after losing your previous points of reference. Coaching helps you redefine your priorities, reconnect with your personal aspirations, and rebuild your self-esteem—essential for approaching this new life with peace of mind.

Balancing family and personal life for expatriates

Expat coaching also helps you restore balance among your various responsibilities, whether as a parent or as an individual with personal needs and aspirations. This support will help you learn to manage your time more effectively and set clear priorities for yourself and your family.

Take control of your expat experience

Expatriation in Luxembourg or elsewhere presents significant challenges, but it can also become an opportunity for personal and professional transformation. With tailored support like coaching, you can not only overcome the obstacles associated with this new life but also use them to grow and thrive.

Ready to take the plunge? If you recognize yourself in these situations and would like to discuss how coaching can help you thrive in Luxembourg, contact me now via the contact form on my website ( ) (coaching in French).

Note: I have been an expat in Luxembourg for over 12 years and have personally faced all of the challenges mentioned above.